Gaming is without a doubt my favourite hobby, alongside writing on here, playing guitar, drinking coffee etc.
The problem is, no matter what I’m doing, I’m almost always considering what’s next, and never fully “in the moment” as it were. Sure I get immersed, but then I have to return to real life and I read, I read a lot of gaming press, I get info from publishers and developers. I never give myself a proper chance to just lose myself to one thing. Creating a constant “need” compulsion.
It might partially be related to modern living. Having information thrown in our faces constantly and marketing being so aggressive these days. Alternatively, I realise this is an issue of my own making, too.
Starting this site meant I had to push myself to find more to write about. So I’m always actively seeking something else,something different. Between that and almost compulsive levels of having to be a part of the latest thing, it sees me watching, and absorbing as much as I can about things, hyping myself up for something I want, and not what I have.
A marketers dream I suppose.
Fixing the problem
I want to stop this endless cycle. I know I want to get more engrossed in these incredible worlds that have been crafted.
Not that long ago, I made a commitment to giving more time to some huge games that I’ve half-finished. And I did! I finished Dishonored 2, I finished Metal Gear Solid V. Xcom 2 got a massive amount of my time, and then that left Breath of the Wild and the Witcher 3 DLC.
Still not engrossed in those, because I got new games!
Now I’m looking at my playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2 and suddenly I want to play other games too.
Initially I’ve craved the fast-paced action of Black Ops 4, but I can’t justify the cost for a multiplayer-only FPS, especially a Call of Duty! Damn if I haven’t tried to justify the purchase, and find a good price, though.
So, after a bit of a revelation, it’s hit me that I want to get back on the Monster Hunter World train. I bloody love that game, but playing it solo and not fully understanding things means it was easy to pull away from it.
Then, I forgot that I have Stardew Valley to play, a game that I’d previously obsessed with but couldn’t justify the purchase (it was a gift, thanks Lee!). The obsession passed and I’ve not yet given it any time.
So, unless a game is a gift, or a review copy (still working on those AAA devs!), I can’t purchase anything new.
Frankly the thought of a Xbox Game pass and all those Games with Gold downloads, fill me with an anxiety. All those games to access and never play, not healthy!
First world problems
Let’s be fair, this isn’t exactly a “real” problem, is it? I do feel like it’s some kind of compulsion to be fought though, and I wonder if it’s a personality issue, or being a product of the modern world.
Either way, it’s an opportunity to change my whole approach to gaming and to creating content for here. Forcing new perspectives and continued content within just one or two games. Giving me the chance to fully embrace worlds and lore, and perhaps starting to give borderline “specialist” content on specific games.
I look at streamers who exclusively play one or two games, they provide consistent content and become sources for great deals of knowledge. Sitting on Discord servers and subreddits, I see hundreds of committed players and fans. I need to become more like that.
Back in the days of the N64 I knew Goldeneye inside-out, Perfect Dark levels and AI were play things that I knew intimately and had a certain level of mastery over. Let’s see if I can get back there!
Starting out, I need to stick to my new rule. No more game purchases, for a while at least! Fight that compulsion.
Then, once I finish Red Dead, I pick a title and run with it. Certainly until the point of completion. If it doesn’t stick, then so be it. Let’s find”the one”. Maybe it’s Sea of Thieves or Destiny? Perhaps it’s Monster Hunter or Zelda or even Warframe (that certainly took my time and attention earlier this year!).
No matter, everything is getting greater commitment.
Of course, I still read and watch everything. For now, though, I have to learn to control and manage these compulsions. Saving a massive amount of money in the process!
Let’s see how it goes…..